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Rend your heart

“Even now”, declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.

Joel 2:12-13

As the days of isolation turn into weeks and the ‘new normal’ begins to bed in, I’m finding God is challenging me more and more about the attitude of my heart.

So far, I’ve been able to keep busy with all sorts of jobs and new challenges…at times with a kind of stoic fortitude. I’ve had so many zoom calls, WhatsApp messages and phone calls that my days have filled up. It’s so good to be able to stay connected to friends and family and yet….that still, small voice is asking more and more “What about me?”. He’s saying “Come to me, seek me, give me your attention. Rest in me.”

In the face of this pandemic and the huge challenges it throws up, it’s natural to respond in practical ways….problem solving, planning and dealing with everyday needs. That’s not wrong…so why do I feel restless and troubled?

Increasingly, I’m understanding that before anything else, I need to be seeking God’s face and listening to his voice so that he can direct my ways. I need to put him first.

I need to seek his wisdom, his approval, his plans before I rush out in my own strength. I need to give him my whole heart, not just the outward trappings.

Father, I need you more than ever. Forgive me for trying to cope in my own strength and for being too busy to come to you. Thank you that you love to hear from me. Please help me to pray and spend time with you. Thank you for your promise that when I come to you, you will give me rest.